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| Alright so it's been 4 or so months since I have last blogged and obviously there has been a LOT of changes in my life...
Here's a quickie in streams of consciousness:
JAN. Not
with Blake anymore. Got with Jordan Kester <3 New Year's at Barcode
with SharBear&Friends. School. Work (@OSF&Stockroom).
FEB. Lent
(haha). V-day at Punchline (comedy club) w/ Jordan. Comedian from Last
Comic Standing & Jon Melaney. Genentech. Massage Class in Grass
Valley w/ Jordan.
MAR. Oregon
for Spring Break. Ashland w/ Jordan's mom&bro. Comedy thing. Got
made fun of =P Max&Jeremy. Bowling. Jon Pinney Concert in the Park
INDOORS. Karl's B-day BBQ. San Jo Beezies. GBG'z represent!
APR. Jon Pinney @ Underground. JORDAN T-shirt. Sac St.'s PCN. Crazy Dancing Kid. "THOSE KIDS". Cocky Reynaldo dude. Stevie Nader. LeeJay Abucayan. 2Jazz Choir Concerts. Cal Poly SLO's PCN. Rocklin Girls Reunited <3
MAY. Finals. Finals. Finals. Late Labs. Chem5 headache. Davis PCN. Malaya = Kikay. Ludo@Boardwalk. Love Me Dead.
Kazoos. 2ndSaturday. Ryan DJ at Cuff's. Mother's Day. Mahal Kita
Bracelet.Jake's Surprise Pre-Surgery Party. HAIR. Jake's <3 Surgery.
Jon Pinney@ IAG & Underground. JL's Bday. Jordan's Bday.
So
I suppose I didn't do so much until the last months. 18units of school.
2jobs. Boyfriend. Ya know. Lots of stuff.. Well a lot of people don't
know who Jordan Kester is. I suppose I could save that for another
blog. But if you guys wants a preview, he is a magnificent guy and we
have a very special and unique relationship. So yeah, we can save that
for later :)
Alright, well, school. Lame. I should not take
that many units at the same time and want to hang out so much. Geez I
have been doing a lot of non-school things on the weekend and not doing
too much homework. That took a lot out of me towards the last days of
the semester. Loaded with crotchloads of homework and labs. The classes
I only cared about were Botany, Calculus, and Quantitative Chemical
Analysis. Other classes I took was Phil 2: Ethics and Jazz Choir. So I
definitely had my hands full. As for grades, so far, I have an A in
Botany (woot woot), B in Philosophy & Jazz Choir (HAHAHA!!). Yeah I
should have done that last transcription. I had the freaking CD with me
and I was just too chicken shizznit to do it! Freakin LAME! Oh well.
Whatever. It's not like Davis cares about my Jazz Choir grade. Psshh...
Anyway, still waiitng for the important grades but chyea. That's that
for school. So glad everything is over and done with. Damn Plant
Project for Botany. Damn Honors Project for Chem 5. But I am gonna miss
all the people I made good friends with.... but then again everyone and
their mom's are going to Davis and we're probably gonne have the same
classes and whatnot.
Work is going to consume me for the rest
of the summer though. I'll be working at the Chem. Stockroom from Mon.
to Thurs. 3-4 hour shifts each day. Workin at Spag Fag for whatever
shifts I decide to pick up. So far I'm doing Sunday lunch, Monday
dinner, and Thursday dinner... and whatever shifts I pick up. But
chyea, hell of work, but gotsa make them skrillah so I can move out and
be all grown up and shiznit....
SPEAKING OF MOVING OUT!!! Omg...
Kathleen and I just signed the lease for our apartment in Davis!!!!
We're super psyched! It's in Cranbrook Apartments off of J St. and
Covell. Super super cute. Loves it! We're so excited because we finally
get to get out of the house and just be all adultish and what nots. But
yeah, we have a 2 bedroom but we need 2 more people to occupy the other
bedroom. That way we only have to pay ~$300 a month as opposed to ~$600
a month. So... if anyone is reading this and is going to UC Davis or
wants to reside in Davis, we need 2 more roommates <3 Hollaaaaa =]
But
chyea, I'm waiting for Jordan to come home for Yuba City and hang out
with me. I'm sitting on my leather couch and it's super hot and I'm
super sweaty. Uber disgusting. Anyway, yeah.
Miss you guys.
Hope to visit San Jose soon. Hope to go to So Cal to visit my brothers
and future sis-in-law. Hope to see more friends and relatives. COUSIN
BONDING THIS SUMMER!!! Let's do it!!! | | |
| Logging on to check my e-mail, I see that I have a Weblog comment. It was from Nikki and she commented a post from January 17, 2003 (or something like that). Holy crap! It was funny to read it because it opened my eyes to who I used to be. Oh the good ol' high school days. Upon reading that blog, I continued to read more. I am re-inspiring myself with things that I have said to others and desperately need to say to myself.
If anyone gets a chance, please read the blog from JANUARY 30, 2006. Realizing that I have had such a positive outlook on life makes me wonder where all of that went. Sure I've had some rough times and life changing experiences but what made my attitude change? I know for a fact that I have grown and matured in many aspects but I also known that I have grown apart from the friends that made me who I am today. For this New Year, my goal is to reconcile conflicted relationships, regain closeness from friends from the past, create new bonds and memories with all those along the way and maintain a level mind state and achieve the greatest in all aspects in life.
Now, 2008 is a new year. A fresh start with a clean slate. Although it has started rough so far, I am certain that I am making the right decision in freeing myself, allowing myself space to grow and explore. I am thankful for all the people I have known in my life and all of the experiences I have had and not for a single moment regret any bit of it. I am but 20 years old on the path to great achievements in life. No obstacles can stand in my way. I will make these years of my life worthwhile. Watch out world, a new Marie is here.
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| Christmas and New Year's of 2007 sucks.
Blake and I are no longer together. Even though it was my decision, I am starting to regret it. I love him and care for him with all my heart, but it's not the same romance as before.
Everything that has happened has of course been a mixture of ups and downs. I have enjoyed all our times together including San Francisco for our 1 year, going to family parties, going to Marine World to visit the penguins, every time we go out to eat, watching our shows and cuddling at home, and pretty much just being in each other's arms. I loved every moment.
As a 20 year old, I have sacrificed a lot for him, and things are just catching up with me. I miss my family and friends too. I know I have changed and not necessarily for the better. I am not superwoman, as much as Blake wanted me to be, I just can't do it all. My feelings started dwindling as I felt more like a mother than a girlfriend. My time was constricted and it tore me apart. As much as I love Blake with all my heart, I seriously need to starting loving myself again.
I want Blake to be in my life for as long as he will accept me as a friend. My family still wants to offer love and support to him. My mom made sure he understood that as she gave him a hug on his way out. Blake's ultimatum was either for me to love him like before or to never see him ever again. If I could love him the way I did before then this situation wouldn't be happening. I don't understand why guys opt to never speak again. I want to always be there as a caring, loving friend, especially having gone through so much. I understand his ways and how he deals with things and will always be there for support. I have gone through many of his seizures and now know how to remain calm and handle the situation. Through everything I have learned patience and I have learned altruism. No matter what, I am thankful for what has happened and the lessons I have learned while being with Blake. I hope he feels the same way and sees things for the better.
For sure, things will turn up. I realize that it is for the better for both of us. Hopefully, Blake's family will realize that he needs them and will be more involved in his life. I hope Blake knows that he will always be a part of my family and we will always be here with open arms if he's ever in dire need. We've grown together and will grow even more apart.
I never expected for our Christmas to be like this. Sometimes I wish things could have worked out. But I know things will work out for the best.
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| Whew. Haven't blogged in a few months, but this isn't a recap of everything. It is, however, a recap on my last two days...
Starting yesterday, Sunday December 16th:
Alright so I was working (still at Spag Fag) for lunch and picked up a party of 20. Not so bad, got tipped $50 over all. Had a 2-top as a filler. Crazy old man with a long beard, pretty husky looking, and in red with his friend sat down. Old dude looked like Santa and he swears to not wear red on purpose. But yeah, went up to greet them and without giving me a chance to say my name, he snaps and just tells me the drink orders and says they just sat down. Whatever. That's that. Had a party of 25 upstairs. Not bad except there were a million separate checks. But I got tipped $60 over all. So that's not so bad neither. Alright so Blake is extremely worried about me because it's already 5:20 and I started work at 12:00. It's unusual for me to stay that late (or any lunch server for that matter). So he called and texted while I was working. I called him back when I got off and he was already on his way with his dad. While in the car, I find out that I can't start my car. What the hell, right? So Blake and his dad arrive. I try to ask my co-workers if they had a gas tank. Nope. So we drive over to Wal-Mart to buy a 5-gal container and over to Safeway to get $13 worth of gas. Back to my car, we have trouble assembling the piece of crap gas can. Trying to refill my tank, gas leaks all over the place but we eventually get it where it belongs. Yeah that was fun. Car started and I was on my way home. Yay.
As for Monday December 17th...
I was leaving my house around 6 something in the morning to pick up Blake for work. Everything was fine until I reached Foothills and Junction when my car started to sputter and jerk. My RPM's would go up but my car wouldn't be going fast at all. So obviously, my transmission is having trouble switching gears. I luckily made it over to Blake's apartment and struggled towards Longs Drugs. Fortunately, Blake's manager wasn't there yet, so he checked out under the hood. Checked fluid levels and what not. So he ran over to Safeway to buy engine oil or whatever and put 4 quarts of the stuff in my car. Check Engine Light still on. So I called my dad to pick me up and of course I get nagged for not taking better care of my car and this and that. Blah. Heard the same shit from my mom when I got home. Bleh. So I got the Durango so I can take care of my Christmas shopping. Yeah okay that was fun. Found out that my friend liked me and that was awkward. But anyway. Finished shopping. Picked up Blake. Continued shopping. Went home. Hung out. Dropped Blake off. Back home. Found out his roommates dog chewed up one of my favorite black ballet flats. Yeah. Wow.
That's that. Yay for the Holidays <3
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No need for another blog to rant about the hypocrisy of American politicians. We hear enough in the news and comedy segments. It's funny because everyone knows that the Native Americans (haha native...) have been here first and the White Anglo-Saxon Protestants (WASPs) that arrive here to colonize and take over another's precious homeland yet we are so against terrorism and try to enforce American ways on other country's as if this country is better than everyone. So many flaws, so many blind people.
For more hypocrisy, read this article: "The Only Moral Abortion is My Abortion"
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2007/7/22/9334/83825
Amazing how there are anti-choice activists choose their own abortions and still have the nerve to call their physicians/clinicians murderers. Reading the first few examples, my initial reaction was "those anti-choice people shouldn't even be operated on especially if their going to chastise the people they turned to for their unwanted/unexpected pregnancies. Then to the end I realized that the physicians ended up being the better people because although these activists have been against the whole abortion process, some are actually (well rarely) thankful and appreciative for the clinic to treat every patient equally. Well it's a great article and everyone should read it.
With such issues such as immigration and abortion, I find that immigration is natural and everyone that is in the United States of America has immigrated here or has come from a family that did. We're all descendants of F.O.B.s and F.O.P.s so I don't see what the big deal is. As for abortion, yes that is a personal issue and should not be put in the hands of politicians. The bigger issue I do have a problem with, however, is HEALTH CARE. I haven't seen Michael Moore's SiCKO but I plan to see it in the cheapy theaters (can't afford movies right now) but it is so clear how flawed the health care system is here in America. It is so important to have the proper health care and not have to spare an arm and a leg to get it, no pun intended. The cost of health insurance is brutal and for people that cannot afford to pay for it have to suffer. Others have to find full time jobs to receive benefits, however how about those young people who strive for an education and find difficulty to work full time and go to school at the same time. I speak for someone I love and care about. It takes about 3 months to receive full time benefits if he were to find a better job and temporary health insurance is too expensive. It's sad because there are other families that cannot afford to become sick, but our health and safety are unpredictable, no matter how cautious we are. Sometimes I want to move out of the country and go to Canada or somewhere in Europe where privacy matters are respected and personal choices are granted, and where health care is affordable and the well-being of citizens are actually taken into concern. If only...
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